Title: Sleeping With My Apprentice
Author: Ani's Apologist

Pairing: Obi/Anakin

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Obi Wan ponders his new relationship with Anakin

I have always been proud to be a Jedi, and always followed the many rules of the
order. There were many who may have had the talent to be a Jedi in the universe, and
many, many more who were at least force-sensitive, but only a very few were able to
withstand the rigours of training to become a knight of the order, and even fewer
who could stand to live by the strict rules. That was why there were never more than
a few hundred Jedi at any one time. And that was also why I was always so proud to
be one of them.

But now, I am not so sure about my future, because I have broken one of the rules,
one of the biggest of them: I have fallen in love. And I have broken another rule,
one that some might very well find appalling: I am sleeping with my apprentice.

It all started a few months ago. When I pause to think about it now, I wonder if he
had planned it all along. I wouldn't put it past him-he can be devious when he wants
something.

Anakin had gone out with Padme one night, and I expected him to come home late, if
at all. He often stayed at her place when she was on planet.

I spent the evening catching up on reading and paperwork, then took a long warm
bath-something I rarely did, but always enjoyed.

As I lay there in the bath, I thought about Anakin and how he had found Padme, and
how he had someone to share the long nights with-and then I thought about myself.

Since Qui Gon's death, there had been no one for me. I was lonely..Anakin often
accused me of having no feelings, but the truth was that I had them-I just chose to
bury them. Pain, lonliness, sadness-these were not feelings I wished to visit
often. It had been so long-so long since I had felt love or passion or pleasure..

Slowly, my hand moved downwards to my cock, and I took myself in hand. It had been
months since I had touched myself.I needed release. I began to stroke myself, and
grew painfully hard.

My head fell back, my eyes closed. Images came to my mind. My Ani..he came to mind
now..so beautiful, grown into a gorgeous young man..biting back a cry of relief, I
came over my own hand, my semen coursing out of me, and into the bath water.

I took a few moments to centre myself. Wow..I had never come thinking about my
apprentice before..not wanting to think too much about what all of this might mean,
I got out of the bath and dried myself. Wrapping myself in a robe, I headed for the
kitchen. A drink.I needed a good, stiff drink to calm my nerves.

"Anakin!" I was shocked to see him home already, "What are you doing here?"

Anakin looked up at me with a hint of a smile on his face, "I came home early,
Master," he said innocently, and then added, "Tell me-do you always masturbate when
I go out somewhere?"

I stopped dead in my tracks, and took a sharp breath. Releasing it slowly, I also
released my anger and embarrassment, and turned to face my young apprentice with a
stiff rebuke, "Padawan, that is really none of your business. How many times have I
told you that you have no right to use the force to spy on others?"

"Oh, I wasn't spying, Master," he countered, still with that damn smile on his face,
"I heard you moaning through the wall..you were rather.loud."

My face suddenly felt very hot, and I knew I was blushing. I turned away and went
over to the bar. A drink-that's what I needed, a good stiff drink. I could tell
already that Anakin was not going to give up or leave this alone-it was going to be
a long night.

"At first thought maybe you had.company. But then I remembered-this is Obi Wan
Kenobi! He doesn't do 'company'. Then I knew you must have been touching yourself.
To be honest, I never thought you did that, either."

I sat down across from Anakin on a lounge chair, and tried to muster a small amount
of dignity before speaking, "Its perfectly natural to have sexual needs, Anakin-a
Jedi is allowed to self pleasure, you know that."

"I know. I just didn't think you had.sexual needs.."

"I am human, Anakin."

"Its easy to forget that."

"Why are you starting a fight with me, Anakin? What's wrong?"

Anakin stood and began to pace like a wild cat around the lounge room. I hated when
he did that. It made me.nervous. I watched him intently, reached out to him with the
force, trying to discern the source of his anger and unease. He blocked me with his
shields.

"Are you drunk?" I asked, trying to sound casual. Anakin drank a lot when he went
out-far more then he should. And alcohol always seemed to make him angry-it brought
out a side to him that was very unpleasant, and hard to control.

"No!" he shouted, and then I knew he was.

"I hate it when you're drunk," I said quietly, almost to myself.

"At least I live my life!" he said, just as quietly, "At least I know how to have
fun. I don't spend everyday playing the controlled, calm Jedi Master, and spend my
nights alone, lonely, jerking off in the bath."

"ENOUGH!" I erupted, standing up.

I could not and would not take his verbal abuse., "I will discuss this no further-my
personal life is none of your concern!"

"Oh, I know that-you've made that clear!"

"You will learn your place! Go to bed, Anakin-sleep it off."

I expected him to say something more-he always had to have the last word-but he was
silent, and watched me with sullen eyes as I left the room and returned to my
bedroom.

Alone, in bed, I let my mind drift back to the things he had said to me. Why did
Anakin have to be so difficult? I had always tried to be a good master to him, but
we had never really connected in the way that other masters and padawans had. He was
angry so much of the time, and I-well, I was distant, aloof. Human relationships
were never my strong point. As each day passed, I felt as if I were losing Anakin
more and more. We were so different, so at odds with each other. I closed my eyes
and sighed. I was failing him as a master, and I knew it-but Anakin made it so hard
to be a good master-he would try the patience of a saint.

The sound of my bedroom door opening jarred me back to reality. I looked up to see
my apprentice hovering in the doorway, "Master." he said softly.

"What is it now, Anakin?" I said, my voice sounding as weary as I was feeling.

"Master, I.I'm sorry if I hurt you. I had no right to say those things to you."

I was, at the very least, surprised that Anakin was apologizing. He never did that.
I sat up in bed and looked at him for a moment, "Its alright, Anakin.don't worry
about it."

He hovered in the doorway, as if he wanted to say more, but could not.

"Anakin.would you like to.stay in here tonight?"

I don't know why I offered it. Perhaps some dark part of me wanted Anakin in my bed.
Anakin had often slept in my bed when he was a boy and had nightmares or was missing
his mother-but that had stopped long ago. Yet, there was something inside me that
told me he DID want to sleep in my bed that night-so I offered.

Anakin did not reply with words. He simply stepped into the room and slid into the
bed next to me. He smiled at me in appreciation. I reached out to place my palm on
his cheek, as I often did to calm him when he was upset. I could smell the alcohol
on his breath, and his eyes looked wet, as if he were about to cry. He swallowed
hard and stared into my eyes, but said nothing.

"Ani.what's wrong?" I whispered, "You're so far way from me.I know I have not always
been there for you, but you CAN talk to me, padawan."

"I want to ask you something, Master-but.I'm afraid too."

"You can ask me anything, Ani"

Anakin took a deep breath, "when you.touch yourself, do you think about men or women?"

Out of all the questions I may have suspected Anakin was about to ask me, that was
not one of them. My mind reeled, and I felt as if I could not speak for several
moments. When I did speak, my voice was shaky, "Men.you know I'm gay, don't you?"

Anakin sighed, and tears spilled onto his cheeks, "I suspected, I never knew for sure."

"I hope that doesn't bother you, Anakin." I whispered.

"No..never.its just.I think about men too." he admitted so softly I wasn't sure I
had even heard him right.

"What?"

"I..think about guys when I.you know." he was blushing now in embarrassment.

I was surprised. I always suspected Anakin was straight-he certainly seemed to have
an attraction to the senator from Naboo-and women found Anakin irresistible. But as
surprised as I was at that admission, I was to be shocked even further by the next.

"When I.do that, Master.I think.about you."

Oh, force! Control. I needed control at that moment.

"Its natural for apprentices to sometimes develop crushes on their masters." I
fumbled for the right words, but just ended up sounding as ridiculous as I felt.

"I'm not a child, Master!" he cut me off, "Its not a crush.I don't know what it is,
but its not a crush. I just know that I.want you...do you ever think about me like
that?"

"Anakin." my voice betrayed my emotion. In the deepest, most secret place inside my
head, the place that I rarely allowed even myself to go, I had thought about him in
that way. But it was wrong-gods, it was wrong! He was my padawan! He was barely
nineteen! I couldn't go there.I couldn't do that.

"Master, please.." He pressed against me suddenly, and the physical contact, along
with the topic, caused my body to react. My breath hitched in my throat as I felt
myself grow hard beneath my sleep pants. Anakin felt it too, against his belly, and
he moaned quietly, pressing in closer, rocking against me gently.

"Anakin, stop." I said, not sure if I meant it, but needing to say it.

He pulled back just enough to look in my eyes, "But master.you're hard..please.let
me ."

His face was so close to mine that I could feel the heat of his breath as he spoke.
I knew that if I looked at him, I would falter, and kiss him, so I looked away as I
pushed him away, "Anakin.we can't. Its wrong.its forbidden.."

"Don't do this." he begged in the darkness, "Don't be a Jedi not here.. now."

"I am always a Jedi, and so are you. You know we can't..we mustn't."

But even as I said it, I felt the hardness between my legs growing unbearable. Gods,
I needed it, wanted it more than anything-my breathing came in hard, short spats as
I struggled to regain control of myself.

"Can I touch myself then?" he asked huskily, "I just.need to come..please.I'll turn
away-you won't see anything."

Oh force!

I looked at him for a moment, then nodded my head tightly. Oh force, this was wrong!

I don't know why I let him do it-weakness, I supposes. Or perhaps it was desire. I
don't know. Anakin smiled gratefully, and slid his hand downward.. He was hard, and
he looked like a god to me. I licked my lips in anticipation of what I was about to
witness. He was laying next to me on his side, facing away, I pulled him back so
that I was laying on my back, with him laying against my chest. I looked down over
his right shoulder to witness the act, "Show me please." I whispered against his
ear, with more lust in my voice then I wanted to admit.

Anakin grasped his erection and began to stroke himself slowly, languidly. He
relaxed against my body, his head falling back against my chest,, his eyes heavy
lidded and smoky with desire and need. I could not help but look at his sex. It
stood at attention, up against his taut, muscular belly. Pre cum pooled at the slit
on the head. I licked my lips again when I saw it, wanting so very much to taste it,
to taste him. I forced to stop the thought, and found myself biting his shoulder
gently. He sighed and arched upwards into his own grasp. He was moaning quietly as
he pleasured himself. Naked, he was incredible-the sun kissed skin, the hairless,
muscular chest, his blond hair falling softly to his shoulders arched there,
tickling my chest softly. I heard myself moan in appreciation, and as my breathing
became ragged, I licked at his neck and ear slowly. It was the most erotic thing I
had ever witnessed. My own cock was aching against his ass, begging to be touched,
but I couldn't..could not masturbate in front of my apprentice.

I simply watched him, transfixed.

He began to move more quickly, his breathing becoming ragged. His mouth hung open
and his eyes fluttered closed. "Ohhhh.." He groaned and released himself, his
creamy semen fountaining up and landing on his belly, the bed, his hand.everywhere.

Groaning with relief, he gentled his strokes, still touching himself, but slowly
now. He was trembling against me. He turned his face towards me, and without
thinking, I brought my mouth to his. It was a wet, open mouth kiss, and he whimpered
at the touch. He lifted his hand, the one covered in his come, to my mouth and I
licked it hungrily, cleaning him and tasting him at the same time. I groaned and
muttered like an animal as I did it, and he watched, licking his lips, his face
dazed with pleasure, still trembling sweetly.

A single word escaped my lips before I could stop myself, "Beautiful."

My fingers slipped lower, tracing his now flaccid sex before sliding lower and
tracing his entrance,, and I heard him take a sharp breath before relaxing again. He
turned his head to look at me, a sated expression on his face.

"Master.yes, please.." he whispered.

I knew he wanted me to enter him-with my fingers, with my cock-but I could not.
Instead, I played with his balls, my fingertips tickling them gently, causing his
renewed arousal. I slid my hand up to grip his cock now.

I found it and it was hard again. Anakin gasped as I stroked it lightly with the
edges of my fingertips-gently, softly. I buried my face in his neck, afraid to look
at him, and moaned against it.

"Yes, Master.." he encouraged, "touch me.just touch me."

I knew what I was doing was wrong, against the code I had always lived by, but I
didn't care. At that moment, all that mattered was Anakin. I wanted to give him
this. I had failed him in so many ways-I would not fail him at this too. I would
give him the pleasure he needed. Closing my eyes against any misgivings I still had,
I grasped his erection in my hand, and pressed my forehead to his shoulder, and
began to masturbate him. I kissed his shoulder gently, laving it with my tongue,
"Relax, Anakin..lean back against me..enjoy it."

Anakin was making small, needing sounds in his throat. He turned his head towards
me, wanting to kiss me on the lips again, but I kept my face hidden against his
shoulder, refusing to meet the kiss. His head fell back after a few moments, and now
he was moaning and begging for release, arching into my hand, "Kiss me..." he
demanded hoarsely, "Tell me you love me, please.tell me you love me.."

I looked at him, and suddenly knew-this wasn't about sex for him. He was in love
with me. I brought my lips to his and kissed him with all the love and emotion I was
feeling for him at that moment. I explored his mouth with my tongue, and he moaned
into my mouth desperately. I broke the kiss, and licked his swollen lips gently. I
don't know why I didn't tell him that I loved him---I certainly felt it, but seemed
unable to speak the words. I looked at him, and saw the hurt in his eyes as he
realised I wasn't going to say it. But as his release grew closer, the look of hurt
was replaced with desire, and he closed his eyes, enjoying my touch.

He came over my hand, and fell back against me, seeking my mouth again, and we
kissed for several moments while he calmed down and his breathing slowed. At some
point, the kissing became less about sex, and claiming, and more about affection and
love.

We rolled around on the bed together, each fighting for control , until Anakin
surrendered beneath me, and simply clung to me pulling me ever closer, and deeper
into his mouth. My own arms slid around him protectively, lovingly. I gentled the
kisses until Anakin was willing to stop for a few moments, and he let me slip out of
his arms.

We laid facing each other, "I love you," he murmured.

I reached out and stroked his cheek soothingly, "Anakin."

We were on a dangerous path-these desires, these feelings. I couldn't find the right
words, so I said nothing more. I saw the pained look in his eyes return, briefly,
before he smiled and just gazed on me.

We lay there in silence, just staring. Anakin reached out and pulled me against him.

I was still painfully hard. I became aware that I had hooked one leg over his waist
and was pushing against him, humping him. I wanted to come on his body, claim him,
own him. I felt out of control, but it felt so good.

I was breathless, and aroused. Anakin said nothing. His eyes closed, he pulled me
close, and let me hump helplessly against his leg and belly. And then I was coming,
and nothing else mattered-just the feeling of bliss, my come coursing over his nude
body, his lips on mine. I made a guttural, feral noise, and slumped against him. He
petted my hair, "Yes, Master.its o.k. enjoy it..enjoy my body.oh yes."

Exhausted and embarrassed by my lack of control, I pulled away a little bit too
quickly, laying on my back and staring at the ceiling, trying to slow my breath.
Anakin whimpered, as if in physical pain, as I broke the contact between our bodies,
but he said nothing. I could feel his eyes on me for a long time, but I refused to
meet his gaze, afraid of what would happen, what we might do or say if I did. It had
already gone way too far-I had to stop this before we lost ourselves in it.

But it was too late.

After that night, it happened every night.

We never spoke about it. In the day light, we were nothing more than master and
apprentice. Our lives went on as they always had. And at night, Anakin would come
into my bedroom, strip out of his night clothes next to the bed, and slide into bed
next to me. I would be naked already, and aroused. I never spoke during or after the
act, but Anakin would. Sometimes he would say sweet loving things, and other times
he would talk dirty-"I want to fuck you, master-take you in the ass, make you scream
with pleasure.you know I will someday-someday you'll let me, and I'll fuck you so
hard.so hard."

We would masturbate together, sometimes coming on each other's body, sometimes on
our own. Sometimes, I would massage him afterwards, or we would spend a few hours
making out, kissing and touching. Then I would send him away. Anakin always wanted
more, always wanted to stay. He would ask me sometimes-"Please, Master, can I stay
with you tonight, sleep with you here? I wanna wake up with you."-but I would always
say no. I feared that if he stayed, my resolve would weaken, and I would give in to
what he wanted-what we both wanted-and we'd end up having sex.

What we were doing was bad enough, of course, but I told myself it was alright
because we were not having actual sex, not even barely touching each other. We were
simply pleasuring ourselves as we always had-the only change was that now we did it
in front of each other instead of alone. That was how I justified it in my own mind,
and so I had to send Anakin away each night so that we wouldn't go too far. I knew
it hurt him, made him feel used. But I didn't know what else to do.

"Why don't you love me?" he asked, and the pain in his voice was overwheleming, The
question was so simple, but the answer was not.

I stared at him for a minute, gathering my thoughts, "Oh, Ani." I stroked his face
gently as I spoke, "I.care deeply for you.its just-I can't allow myself to love you.
Not the way you want me too. If I do, I'll lose myself, I won't be able to be your
master or teach you anything if I fall in love with you."

He looked away, pulling away from my touch, "That's bullshit and you know it," he
replied coldly.

"Anakin."

"You cold bastard!" he exploded, "Does any of this mean anything to you-is it just a
quick fuck? Just something to pass the time?"

"You know its not like that, Ani.." I whispered, "Please-don't ask for more than I
can give."

He looked at me and his anger melted into sadness. He turned away and began to
dress. I watched him in silence, reaching out to him just as he stood up to leave,
"Don't go, Anakin." I begged.

"Why should I stay? You'll never be able to give me what I want."

I knew he was right, so I let him go.

It was two weeks before he came to my bed again.

I awoke one night to find him naked and trembling beside my bed. He stank of alcohol
and something else.he'd been with someone else.

Jealousy flared through me for a moment, and I looked up at him. It was then I
realised he was crying.

"Please, master-I've tried. Tried to stay away-to find someone lese, but.I can't. I
only want you. I don't care if you can't feel the same way about me.I just need
you.have to have you."

I pulled back the covers of the bed and wordlessly invited him in. He pounced on me
like a wild cat, and we moaned and writhed together, naked, and desperate.

He placed gentle, soft kisses on my chest and belly, then began to move lower, but I
tightened my hand in his hair and held him still.

"Please." he breathed against my navel desperately.

He wanted to give me oral sex.

"No." I said halfheartedly.

"Please, Master.let me.let me do this to you.for you. I know you want me too.let me."

I whimpered in defeat and released his hair, and he moved on me instantly.

His head slid down. I knew what he wanted-I gave it to him. He swallowed my sex,
and his mouth was as hot as a volcano, and as soft as velvet. I grunted like an
animal in heat, and came down his throat. He drank me, and held my cock in his
mouth until it softened, then let it slip out. He laid his head on my belly, "You
taste sweet," he whimpered against my skin, "I knew you would."

He looked up at me, and his eyes were glazed with desire. He looked drunk..I took
his organ in my own hand and pumped him gently, the way I would masturbate myself.
His eyes slid shut and he was moaning seductively in my ear, kissing my neck as he
let me masturbate him.

He came with a deep shudder and a guttural moan against my skin. His come streamed
out and landed on my belly and hip. I felt myself growing hard again just at the
thought of having his semen on my naked body.

We kissed endlessly. I could not get enough of his kisses. "I love you," he repeated
over and over again as we writhed together, heatedly. At last, he stopped me,
breaking off the kisses and placing his fingers over my lips to prevent me from
speaking. I was on top of him, straddling his body. I sat up, confused, and just
looked at him, unsure what he wanted me to do next.

Then I saw the smouldering look in his eyes and I knew what he wanted.

"Make love to me." he begged, ".please."

I tried to pull away, "Anakin.we can't..sex .I can't..it would be wrong."

Anakin laughed humourlessly, "You cannot be serious-do you really think what we are
doing is any different? Do you think the counsel would say its o.k. because you
haven't actually fucked me?"

I knew he was right, of course,it wasn't any different. I smiled at the hypocrisy,
and then looked at him. His eyes were full of desire and lust-and something else,
something darker that I could not quite discern

. He began to caress me, stroking my face with his fingers gently. I leaned into his
touch and sighed with pleasure.

"Please." he whispered, kissing my lips softly, licking my bottom lip.

I knew were going to make love. I wanted to say no, but I couldn't. We just stared
into each other's eyes, his fingers barely touching my face, just ghosting my
features lightly. It felt soft and almost like a tickle.

And it was incredibly erotic. Anakin was incredibly erotic.

I opened my mouth and he slid one, then two, then three fingers inside. I sucked
them gently, holding his gaze. His eyes darkened with pleasure. He opened his mouth,
as if to speak, but then said nothing, as we moved closer still, our torsos
touching, our aroused cocks, gently bumping each other, causing us both to gasp.

I buried my face into the hollow between his neck and his shoulder and kissed and
sucked there before dipping my head lower and sucking gently on one of his hardened
nipples.

"Ohhh" he groaned, one hand fisting my hair, while the other slid lower to find my
sex.

Not giving me a chance to change my mind, he guided my cock to his entrance,
spreading his legs for me. I drew back and looked into his eyes. If I was going to
stop this, it would have to be now.

I wasn't going to stop this, and we both knew it, but I hesitated, and he looked up
at me, confused.

"Show me, Anakin.show me how to make love to you.show me how to.make love."

His eyes widened slightly in surprise, "You're a virgin?" he breathed.

Ashamed, I looked down on him sadly and nodded my head.

"Its o.k.I'm not," he smiled.

Nodding, and never breaking our gaze, he guided me gently inside him. His eyes
fluttered closed for a moment, then reopened. His mouth fell open in a silent scream
of surrender. He was giving himself to me completely. And it felt incredible. He was
tight, so hot..I moved slowly, carefully,minimizing the pain as much as I could,
until I was fully sheathed within him. I remained perfectly still for a moment,
trembling, as we stared at each other, enraptured by the pleasure we both felt.

There was an honesty between us that had never been there before. Stripped not only
of our clothing, but also of our pretenses, we gave in to what we had both wanted
for so long. We held nothing back, hide nothing from each other. For the first time
in years, I felt like I wasn't wearing a mask, pretending to be someone I was not.
Tears filled my eyes as I realised how much time I had wasted-why did I push Anakin
away for so long, when all I had ever really wanted was to pull him close, to have
him like this, naked and beneath me, and open to me, and willing..

Oh gods, the bliss! I trembled with the effort of not coming instantly.

"You feel incredible," I whispered.

He smiled, "Mmmm."

The sex was slow and sweet and gentle. I took his arms and pushed them up over his
head, and held him down, and began to move inside him. His legs came up around my
back, and he was so open, so vunerable at that moment-and it was beautiful.

He let me control it. I held him down, his arms over his head, and thrust into him,
finding my rhythm. I lowered myself so that our bodies were pressed fully together,
and let Anakin take my full weight as I drove into him again and again.

My mouth found his neck again, and I kissed and licked it possessively, groaning in
his ear with each thrust. For his part, Anakin writhed beneath me, his movements
restricted by my body. He was breathing hard, and trying to kiss me, to caress me,
to hold me-all at once.

"Don't stop.please don't ever stop." he breathed against me

I held him close as we made love, and he clung to me, meeting my thrusts as best he
could with his hips, "Is this what you want, Ani?" I moaned against his heated skin,
"Do you like being taken like this-do you like feeling me inside you?"

"Yes-gods, yes." he moaned, kissing and licking my neck and shoulder, "Need this so
much.need you..want you so much.."

The pleasure was blinding, almost painful in its intensity. We moved together
animalistically now, lost to our lust for each other's bodies.

"Can I come in you?" I heard myself grind out my voice breaking with emotion.

Anakin looked up at me, "oh, yes.come inside me..I want your come inside me.want
part of you inside me.."

The way he said it, it made him sound so young, so desperate for my love. It was
beautiful and somehow sad at the same time.

"I love you, Anakin." I moaned as if I were begging for forgiveness for a thousand
hurts I had caused him over the years. As if by this act, this lovemaking, I could
erase all the pain and misunderstanding we had both suffered since I fisrt met him
all those years ago, "I do.I love you."

He whimpered like a small child against me, trembling and clinging to me, and I
began to say it over and over again like a mantra, a healing mantra, "I love you, I
love you, I love you." until we were both weeping openly, our tears spilling between
our bodies as we made love.

With a loud groan I spilled myself inside his body. I felt like I was ejaculating
forever. The orgasm just kept washing over me, wave after glorious wave. Anakin was
under me, and I was pouring my semen into his willing body, and he was clinging to
me, and moaning, "yes.yes.give it to me-give me your essence, master.fill me up
with it."

Then I distantly became aware that Anakin was coming as well, and I felt his liquid
spuirt between our two bodies, heard him scream with delight as it did so.

"ANAKIN!" I screamed and collapsed on top of him, exhausted.

I kept kissing his smooth, sweaty skin until he was asleep.

We were beyond the rubicon now-there was no going back.

"I could stay like this forever," I whispered, knowing he was asleep and couldn't
hear me, "just.inside you like this..oh, my Ani..you're all I ever wanted..I'm sorry
I pushed you away for so long.you're all I need..sleep, love. Sleep in my arms, my
Ani."

I slept with myself still buried inside him.

That was the first time we made love, but by no means the last. We now make love
everyday, and if its possible, the sex only gets better each time we love each
other, physically.

He always asks permission, knowing I will always grant it.

"Can we make love, Master?"

"Yes."

We fall into bed and entwine in each other's arms, kissing and stripping out of our
clothes. Then we make love so tenderly that the emotion of it nearly shatters me. I
tremble with the beauty of the act that we share together, this physical act of
pure love and devotion. It is never just fucking with Anakin.it is always about
making love. He needs this so much.the sex.the loving.the closeness.and so do I.

Sometimes, when he has reduced me to a trembling wreck with his hands and his
caresses, he looks at me with that smile on his face, and I know he's enjoying
it-this power he has over me. There is a darkness to his smile that frightens
me..but when he comes, he always tells me how much he loves me, needs me..and I say
the same.and the fear is forgotten for the moment. It feels so good and so right.
All that matters then is the pleasure..the love.

As I write this, it is near dawn. Anakin is laying naked in my bed, stirring
slightly, and making those soft, sleepy noises he makes when he is slowly waking up.
It is sexy and erotic, and it makes me want him.

I need to go to him soon, need to make love to him again before first meal. Awaken
him with soft kisses, take him in my mouth and suck gently until he comes in my
mouth, and begs me to fuck him, and then I will take him. We will move together as
one body, and pleasure each other until we are both spent, and then we will lay
entwined in each other's arms, and murmur words of love between gentle kisses and
soft caresses. And the honesty and the love will be wonderful...and then we will
have to emerge from our quarters and spend another day denying in public what we
share when we are alone. This has become our life now. I don't know how long we can
continue to hide what we feel, what we do..in the end, it may destroy us, but even
if it does, it will have been worth it.

I am lost to him, and he knows it.

I am sleeping with my apprentice.