Anakin looked up from the documents the he had been looking over and nodded towards the kitchen. “There are some things in the cooling unit.” He went to look back at the data pad as Leia headed towards the kitchen, only to be interrupted by a chime from the doorway, indicating a visitor. He sighed and dropped the papers onto the seat beside him before making his way over to the door.

It slid open to reveal Obi-Wan. Anakin offered him a smile in greeting and turned from the doorway, making his way back into the small living area. Obi-Wan followed not far behind him, nodding to the young girl as he did so. “Hello Leia.”

“Master Kenobi,” she responded, somewhat tersely. Since the incident in the training room the previous day she had decided she didn’t like Jedi at all, and was wary of each of them. She couldn’t help wondering if they also thought she and Luke were merely taking up their time in the Temple.

The older man frowned at her frosty response but continued to follow Anakin to the couch. He nodded to the documents as Anakin lifted them. “Have you decided which classes you’d like to teach?”

Anakin rolled his eyes as he lowered himself back down onto the couch. “Practical training,” he responded. “But I’ll be comfortable with anything that doesn’t deal with the heavier issues.”

“Heavier issues?” Obi-Wan frowned in confusion, sitting down on the chair opposite the couch.

“I refuse to teach the Jedi Code,” Anakin stated. “I will not teach anything about love and hatred, fear and attachment. Or things such as that.” He looked towards Leia as she approached, a packet of bicklets in her hand. He smiled at her as he continued to speak to Obi-Wan, “As you know, I have not yet mastered such areas.”

Obi-Wan only nodded in response, watching as Leia was drawn onto Anakin’s lap. The young girl smiled up at the warm expression of her father and snuggled into him. Anakin pressed his lips to her forehead before addressing Obi-Wan again. “Have you decided which classes you wish to teach?”

“The ones you don’t wish to,” he responded with a small smile. Anakin smiled in response, looking affectionately at Leia.

“Where is Luke?” Obi-Wan asked as his eyes scanned the small area.

“He’s in our room,” Leia responded. “I think he’s trying to read a holonovel.” Anakin smiled to himself at that, pleased at Luke’s efforts.

As if sensing he was being spoken of, Luke stepped out from the twins' room and into the living area. Obi-Wan watched as Anakin gently slid Leia from his lap as he addressed his son. “Leia informed me that you have been reading a holonovel?”

Luke’s expression dropped somewhat. “I have been trying.” He spoke again as he approached his father, his tone laced with frustration and anger. “I’ll never understand it though.” Then he added, “I hate reading.”

Obi-Wan watched as Anakin stood, turning away from his son as he walked into the kitchen towards the cooling unit. “You must learn to control your emotions, Luke. Your impatience and hatred will only lead to suffering.”

The boy appeared dejected at his father’s response and pulled himself onto the couch. “Why? You won’t let me train; now I can feel what I want.” The youngling’s tone held a bitterness that surprised his sister.

“You know very well that these feelings will only lead to suffering, Luke,” Anakin said, his own anger beginning to rise at his son’s response. “You must learn to control yourself.” He pulled out a carton of flavoured water from the cooling unit and began pouring himself a glass.

Obi-Wan frowned, instantly recognising Anakin’s differing attitudes towards each of his children. The girl looked almost apologetic as she glanced at her brother, who only glared at the floor at his feet.

“Father, may we go to the gardens?” Leia looked towards her father.

Anakin seemed to consider her request for a moment before he nodded. “Very well.”

Leia dropped her packet of bicklets onto the surface next to her and grasped Luke’s hand, pulling him towards the entrance of the quarters.

“You should be pleased,” Leia stated. “He treats you as if you were a Jedi.”

“No, you should be pleased!” Luke snapped, glaring at her. “He treats you like you a real person! He tells me I’m not allowed to feel anything!”

“I would rather be a Jedi,” came Leia's response.

“Don’t you like being close to him?” Luke frowned. “He always tells you he loves you. He always hugs you. He never does that to me. He never tells me he loves me!”

“But he does,” his sister insisted. “You know he does. That’s why he’s so strict.”

“You’re just saying what he told you,” he responded angrily. “It’s because you’re like mother. He tells you you’re like her all the time. That’s why he loves you more.”

“He doesn’t…”

Luke hurried away from her.

Obi-Wan looked over at Anakin, who was drinking from his glass while staring out the side window. “You appear to show more affection towards your daughter than your son.”

Anakin’s head turned sharply towards him at that, his eyebrows lowered. “It’s for his own good.”

“Is it?” Obi-Wan stood, stepping closer to Anakin. “The boy is right. There is no need for you to be so distant from him if you are not planning on allowing him to be trained as a Jedi.”

“His feelings will only lead to suffering.”

“Is it not the same for Leia?” Obi-Wan challenged.

“It is different for Leia,” Anakin insisted. “She knows little about the ways of the Force. As she is not trained, if one day she did suffer, it would not lead her down the dark path.”

“Well maybe she should be trained, so she can also learn to control these emotions,” Obi-Wan responded. “Do you not worry that her closeness to you will lead to her suffering?”

Anakin held up his hand, his eyes blazing in anger. “Don’t you tell me how to raise my children, Obi-Wan.” His eyes narrowed. “You never showed any affection towards me during my time as a Padawan. You know nothing about raising children.”

Obi-Wan quickly shielded his thoughts. “Your love should be shared equally among them. If you appear to favour one over the other, this will only lead to bitterness and anger.”

Anakin snorted in response. “What do you know about love, Obi-Wan? You’ve never felt anything in you life!”

His words had stung his former Master, Anakin could tell. He could also sense Obi-Wan’s shields tighten almost painfully at his words. He glared at him, challenging him to respond to the argument. Obi-Wan’s eyes narrowed with an anger Anakin had never seen before.

Obi-Wan struggled to contain his response, shielding his thoughts to the point of exhaustion.

“You know nothing of love,” Anakin continued, wanting something from Obi-Wan. He wasn’t sure what he wanted. Just any sort of emotional response from him. “You know nothing of hate. You tell me I have to love my children equally, that I have to control my emotions. You tell me these emotions are dangerous, yet you’ve never experienced them yourself! How would you know what these emotions are like? You’re just like any other Jedi: stone. You feel nothing! You know nothing about it!”

“You’re wrong!” Obi-Wan snapped, “It is you who knows nothing! I have experienced such emotions and they do lead to suffering!” He should have stopped then but he didn’t. “You know nothing about how I feel! You know nothing, Anakin, you hear me!” His shields loosened somewhat as he felt his resolve weaken. Anakin only stared at him, his expression held so many emotions that Obi-Wan was unable to discern any of them.

Anakin stared into the open expression of his friend. He didn’t know how to respond to Obi-Wan’s reaction, having been stunned to silence by the passionate response he had received. He suddenly felt guilty. He should not have provoked such a response from him. He felt the weakening of Obi-Wan’s shields and eagerly exploited this weakness in order to find the cause of his response. He found his answer instantaneously and sharply withdrew himself from Obi-Wan’s mind.

Obi-Wan had known what Anakin was doing. He made no move to stop him. ‘Let him see it. Let him know how wrong he is,’ he had thought, bitterly. But seeing this look in Anakin’s eyes now, he wished he hadn’t. He wished he had strengthened his shields. Because Anakin looked hurt. He looked confused. He looked like he was a little boy again. Obi-Wan closed his eyes, shaking his head slightly as he put his hand to his forehead. He looked up when he sensed Anakin stepping towards him and put up his hand, effectively stopped Anakin in his tracks. “Don’t.”

A silence fell over them. They only stared at each other for a moment, Anakin’s eyes searching his. Obi-Wan shook his head, speaking quietly, “I expect nothing from you, Anakin.”

Before Anakin could respond, Obi-Wan turned and left the room.

He squeezed his eyes shut as he drew in a deep breath, wondering how this would affect his relationship with Anakin. It was already strained due to the events eight years ago and he was certain that this would do nothing to help matters. He opened his eyes as his hand dropped from his mouth, and he folded his arms across his chest with both hands gripping each arm beneath his Jedi robes.

Obi-Wan sighed as he looked around his unfamiliar surroundings. He closed his eyes against the tears he felt rising. ‘Control,’ he told himself silently, though he knew he was quickly losing it. He was no longer the Jedi that he used to be. He was afraid of something but he didn’t know what.

Was he afraid of his feelings? Or was he afraid of the way everything was changing?

Yes, he was afraid of both.

He opened his eyes as he thought of Anakin across the corridor. He finally understood Anakin’s fears.

“To the Lake,” Anicca responded, stumbling as they hurried to keep up with the others.

He quickened his pace. “Do the Masters…”

“Luke!”

He turned at the voice of his sister. His brow furrowed when he noticed her hurrying down the slope after him. “What are you doing here?”

“The same as you,” she responded tersely as she hurried past him, following Anicca’s path.

Luke glared after her as he followed. He had wanted to get away from her for as long as possible, but clearly ‘as long as possible’ only lasted ten minutes. For the first time in his life he realised that he resented his twin: he resented her for the love their father showed towards her and for her lack of satisfaction with it. He would no longer control it like his father had taught him to. There was no point.

His father would never allow him to be a Jedi. His father would never love him the way he loved Leia -- if he loved him at all, that is. Luke clenched his jaw; he didn’t care. He hated him.

Luke looked up, surprised to find Anicca and Leia so far ahead of him, and quickened his pace. He frowned, why were they running? He broke into a run but only managed to take a few leaps before his foot caught beneath a tree root, twisting as he fell to the ground. His pained cry went unnoticed by his companions, who continued to hurry on their way towards the lake.

He wondered if Obi-Wan would be embarrassed the next time he saw him. Force knows, Anakin would be! How could he not have known?

He drew in a deep breath and leaned forward, his head falling into his hands as he did so. Did Obi-Wan feel that way when Padmé had still been alive? Anakin sighed, shaking his head, remembering the day she had died.

Anakin had been able to hear her screaming as he’d hurried down the corridor of the medical centre. Obi-Wan had already been there. “How is she?” Anakin breathed out as he reached him.

Obi-Wan hadn’t responded; he’d only looked away from him.

The panic in Anakin had risen then.“What is it? What’s wrong?”

Obi-Wan had looked to him, his eyes filled with sadness, “I did what I could.” Anakin had frowned as Obi-Wan continued, “The babies were born not so long ago; a boy and a girl.”

The joy Anakin should have felt at the revelation wasn’t there, as he felt his stomach churn. “Born…but…but why is she still screaming?”

Obi-Wan had looked away from him, but had been turned to face him when Anakin sharply turned him by the shoulder. “Why is she still screaming?” Anakin had almost been screaming himself at the time.

“There were…complications…”

Anakin hadn’t heard anymore, as he hurried from his former Master towards Padmé’s room.

Anakin lifted his head from his hands, not wanting to remember what had happened afterwards. He pushed any bitterness he felt towards Obi-Wan to the back of his mind. Such thoughts would do nothing to help ease the confusion he felt. He looked towards the entrance to his quarters, then back out the window before him, suddenly hit with an overwhelming frustration.

He stood from his place on the floor and headed towards the door.

He reached lifted a branch from the ground and used it to help him make his way back to the Temple. The pain in his ankle had dulled to a slight ache; however, he knew that if he were to walk normally the pain would increase instantly. His father would be furious with him for going into the woods and more than likely would confine him and Leia to their quarters for a long period of time following the admonishment they were going to receive.

Luke frowned, once again sensing a presence nearby.

The woods were so quiet, he noted, as he felt fear grip him. He looked ahead and noticed the Temple was nearby. Only five more minutes and he would be back.

Luke felt his fear increase and his throat tighten as he became aware of the presence coming closer. He was too scared to turn around and, instead, increased his pace towards the Temple. His breathing was quickening.

“Luke, watch out!” came the distant cry of his sister, before he was engulfed in darkness.

Anakin stared at him for a moment, his eyes almost accusing. “How long?”

Obi-Wan looked away, quickly, then turned away from him and walked towards the window. “How long?”

“Yes,” Anakin snapped. “How long have you felt this way?”

There was a few moments of silence before Anakin heard Obi-Wan release a deep breath. “I don’t know.”

Anakin gave an exasperated sigh and looked around the room. “Has it been long? You must have some idea, Obi-Wan! When? Was it after I agreed to come back? Or was it before that? Was it when I was still a Jedi?”

“You are a Jedi, Anakin.” came Obi-Wan’s quiet response.

“Don’t change the subject,” Anakin said, his impatience evident in his tone. “I need to know. How long?”

“Too long.”

Anakin frowned. “So, it was before you came to Naboo?”

“I don’t know, Anakin!” Obi-Wan turned to face him. “I don’t know when.”

Anakin looked away from him, towards the floor.

“I’m sorry,” Obi-Wan added. “I should not have let you become aware of it.”

Anakin raised his eyes to him. “Why not?”

“Clearly you have not reacted very well to the revelation,” Obi-Wan responded with a slight smile.

Anakin rubbed his palms against his trousers. “You should have told me. I…I would not have said those things…”

“What’s said is said,” Obi-Wan responded, going to walk past him.

Anakin reached out, grasping Obi-Wan’s arm. His former Master frowned, as he turned to look up at him. Anakin stared down at him for a moment, his eyes searching Obi-Wan’s for something. Anakin swallowed, as his confusion intensified. Maybe he could feel the same, he told himself, as he continued to look at Obi-Wan. Maybe, he needed to. It’d been a lonely eight years; he’d craved the feeling every day. Now Obi-Wan was offering it to him. Offering him the chance to feel that emotion again; letting him become human again.

He could, he told himself, he needed to feel again. He leaned closer, pressing his lips to Obi-Wan’s.

Obi-Wan frowned as he felt Anakin’s lips press against his. Tentatively, he returned the kiss, but for some reason he couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right. He closed his eyes as Anakin’s hand lightly touched his cheek. Obi-Wan gently pressed against Anakin’s shields, pleased to find he could get passed them easily. But what he wasn’t pleased about was what he found: bitterness, anger, hatred all directed towards both him and the Jedi.

Obi-Wan jerked back from Anakin, pushing roughly against his chest, causing Anakin to stumble a few steps away from him.

Anakin looked confused. “What is it?” He only received a glare in response; a glare which reflected Obi-Wan’s anger towards him. Anakin frowned, “Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan turned away from him, speaking quietly, “Go.”

Anakin frowned, “What? I thought you wanted this.”

“I don’t,” Obi-Wan responded, before he turned to look at him. His expression was impassive, “Not like this.”

“Like what?” Anakin stepped closer to him, but Obi-Wan stepped back. Anakin frowned, confused. He was confused about everything.

Obi-Wan turned accusing eyes on him, “You used me.”

Anakin frowned, “What do you mean?”

Obi-Wan’s eyes narrowed, “You used me. You’re using the way I feel to…” he turned away in disgust, “Just go.”

“No! Obi-Wan, just listen to me…” He stopped, suddenly, as Leia’s voice reached him.

“Father!” the young girl’s voice screamed. “Father!”

Anakin felt his heart clench in terror as he registered the fear in his daughter’s voice. He hurried from the room and out into the corridor, as Leia came into view running towards him. He quickly noticed the tears that were streaming down her cheeks.

“Leia!” he lifted her into his arms as she reached him. “Leia, what is it? What happened?”

She leaned into his shoulder, sobbing. “A man. He took Luke.”

“What?”

Leia sobbed.

“Who?” Anakin breathed, his throat tightening. “Who took Luke?”

“I don’t know,” she whimpered. “I couldn’t see him properly. He had a cloak on.”

Anakin pressed a hand to his mouth, turning to look at Obi-Wan, who stood close behind. Obi-Wan nodded at him in understanding, as Anakin lowered Leia to the ground. “You stay here with Obi-Wan, okay Leia?”

She whimpered as Obi-Wan’s hands came to rest on her shoulders. “Are you going to get him?”

Anakin nodded. “Yes.”

Leia stared at him uncertainly. “Promise me you’ll come back.”

Anakin nodded, biting back his fear long enough to smile reassuringly at his daughter, as he knelt in front of her. “I promise, Leia.”

“And Luke too?”

Anakin kept the smile, nodding slowly. “I’ll bring Luke back, I promise.”

She gave him a wavering smile as Anakin pulled her into his arms, pressing his lips to the side of her head. He stood, looking at Obi-Wan, “Look after her for me.”

Obi-Wan frowned a little, wondering at the implications of his request, but nodded. “I will. I’ll inform the other Masters.”

Anakin nodded to him, then reached down, squeezing Leia’s shoulder, before he turned and hurried down the corridor.

The younglings and initiates turned in fright at the sound of the igniting lightsaber, but their fear quickly dispersed when they recognised the intruder.

“Master Skywalker,” one of the younglings addressed him, coming towards him.

“What are you doing here?” Anakin snapped, addressing the younglings. “Get back to the Temple at once!” The children quickly obeyed him, none of them failing to notice the anger radiating from the Jedi Master.

Anakin reached out, grasping one of the young girls by the shoulder. “Was Luke with you?”

Anicca looked up at him timidly. “Yes, Master Skywalker. But he fell behind; Leia went back for him.”

“Which direction did she go?” he asked. “Do you have any idea where he was?”

She pointed slightly to the right of where the other children were heading. “Over there.” He looked startled and quickly summoned the younglings back to him, as it wouldn’t be safe for them to go back alone.

“Anakin!”

He turned and quickly noticed Master Windu heading towards him, hurriedly. Anakin hurried over to him as the Master addressed him. “Anakin, Obi-Wan has informed me of the situation.”

“The younglings cannot return to the Temple alone,” Anakin responded, turning away from him. Hegestured towards Anicca. “Come. Show me where you last remember seeing him.” She looked towards another younglings uncertainly before she hurried to follow him.

“Anakin!” Master Windu stepped up beside him, trying to keep up a pace with him. “The dark side surrounds you, you must control it.”

Anakin turned abruptly, causing the youngling behind him to crash into his legs. “My son has been taken. I don’t need lectures from you at this moment. Just take the children back; I’ll handle this my way.” He turned away from him once again, addressing the initiate. “This way?”

“Yes.” She nodded, struggling to keep up with the Master’s long strides.

“Do you need anything?” Obi-Wan spoke up for the first time. Leia didn’t turn around, offering only a shake of her head in response. “Are you sure?”

“I’m fine,” she said quietly, but with obvious irritation.

Obi-Wan stood and walked over to her, gently letting his hand rest on her shoulder. She jerked her shoulder away from him and stepped away. He clasped his hands together, looking down at the back of the young girl’s head. He looked around at the scenery, desperately searching for some words of comfort.

“Your father will return, Leia,” he offered.

She tensed but was silent for a few moments. Her voice was quiet, but Obi-Wan was sure he could detect some bitterness in her response. “Maybe.”

Obi-Wan frowned, “He will.”

Leia turned to face him, glaring up at him. “He won’t.” She was trembling and tears were in her eyes, but she carried on regardless. “He won’t come back! And it’s your fault! It’s all your fault! You shouldn’t have made him come back!” She pushed past him as her tears began anew.

Obi-Wan tightened his grip on his hands as he watched her hurry into her room. He lowered his eyes, his own fear returning. But he told himself again: Anakin would come back.

Anakin had tensed at his voice but said nothing. He sensed his former Master come to his side and felt him sit down next to him on the stone bench. Anakin looked down at his hands, clasped tightly in his lap, as he attempted to keep some control of his anger.

“I’m sorry.”

He shouldn’t have killed Palpatine; that’s what Anakin had thought. He should have controlled himself then. What good would control do him now? He’d turned angry, accusing eyes on his former Master, not bothering to hide the hatred he’d felt towards him at that moment. “You promised you’d help us.”

Obi-Wan lowered his eyes. “I…I tried, Anakin.”

“Obviously not hard enough!” Anakin snapped, standing from the bench, “You said you could help us! You promised you’d help us!”

Obi-Wan stood up, his eyes glistening. “I did try, Anakin. I ensured everything was done that could save her…”

“Just shut up.” Anakin glared at him, hatred in his eyes. “Just…I should never have killed him!” Obi-Wan had looked startled, as Anakin continued. “He knew how to save her!”

“Anakin, she could not be saved,” Obi-Wan said quietly, desperate for him to understand. “We did everything for her…”

“No! No we didn’t!” Anakin had screamed at him, then. He turned away, tears in his eyes. “You…you promised.”

Obi-Wan didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to comfort him. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Anakin shook his head. “No. It’s too late.” He stared right at him, and Obi-Wan felt his heart clench at the words that followed. “Don’t ever come near me again. I hate you.”

Anakin could sense the girl’s fear but ignored it. He had Luke to think about right now. “Here?”

“No, Sir. A little further up,” she responded.

He increased his pace as he hurried up the small slope. He looked over his shoulder. “Are you alright?” Anicca nodded but didn’t say anything as Anakin grasped her by the wrist to help her.

“I last saw him here,” Anicca stated as she was pulled up onto a pathway.

“Here?” Anakin looked around, as she nodded, “What way did you come from?”

“We just followed the path,” she responded. “It leads right back to the Temple.”

He only nodded as he attempted to push his anger aside in order to call on the Force. If only he’d taught Luke how to communicate with him. He closed his eyes using the Force to search the area around them. His stomach lurched as he felt him; a distant presence but it was enough to reassure him.

Anakin sighed in relief as he opened his eyes, looking down at the child at his side. “Stay close to me,” he told her as he once again began moving. Not far. He stopped as his eyes rested on a cloak figure.

The man before him lowered his hood and Anakin quickly became aware of the grin on his face.

“Anakin Skywalker,” the man spoke, sneering at him, “We meet at last.”

Chapter Twelve

……………………….

“There is no real evil in life, except great pain.” – Marie de Sevigne

……………………….

Anakin called his lightsaber to his hand and ignited it as he eyed the tall figure before him. He urged the initiate back into the trees. “Who are you?”

The man grinned as he ignited his own lightsaber, offering him no verbal response.

Anakin felt his own anger growing as his grip tightened on his lightsaber. A Sith. “Where is my son?”

If anything, the Sith’s grin widened, but this time Anakin received a verbal response from him. “If you’ve come here seeking the boy, Skywalker, you’re going to be gravely disappointed.”

Anakin’s eyes narrowed as he stepped closer to him. “Where is he?” he demanded, his tone threatening.

The Sith didn’t respond and took a step closer to him. “Nowhere you’ll find him. I promise you that, Jedi,” he sneered.

“Where’s my son!” Anakin screamed at him, beginning to lift his lightsaber higher, ready to attack.

“I’m surprised you haven’t felt it,” he responded responded, circling him, “I would have thought your bond with him would have alerted you to the incident.”

“What incident?” Anakin struggled to keep his voice from wavering as his felt his stomach churn.

“Why, your son’s death, of course,” the Sith responded.

Anakin’s eyes narrowed, “You’re lying.”

The Sith grinned, “Search your feelings, Skywalker. You know it to be true.”

Anakin swallowed, not wanting to obey the man before him, but knowing he had no other choice. He reached out into the Force. He frowned, searching further, before his breath released in relief when he felt his son’s presence within the Force. He started to grin, but then stopped as, abruptly, the connection he had felt with his son disappeared. Died.

Anakin felt as if the ground had been removed from under him as he felt the connection die. The world collapsed around him as his heart clenched. Luke. His Luke. Dead. Gone from his life. Killed…Anakin frowned, How? His chest tightened; he struggled to breathe as tears glimmered in his eyes. His son was dead. Gone. No. Anakin looked up at the Sith, his eyes glimmering, the grin on the other man’s face driving him to the point of insanity. Not Luke, no!

Anakin cried out in anguish as he charged at the Sith, and their lightsabers crashed loudly together. He would kill this Sith. He would make him suffer for what he’d done to Luke. Luke. His cheeks were damp as he struck at the Sith, determined to destroy him. He would destroy him. He screamed as he continued to strike at him.

“I have failed everyone …everyone but my children.” It was what he had said to Obi-Wan back on Naboo. Now his failure was complete. He’d failed everyone.

Anakin cried out as he struck again at the Sith, severing his arm at the elbow. The Sith cried out as he fell back onto the hard ground beneath him. Anakin stepped closer to him, jamming the heel of his boot into the Sith’s stomach as he severed his other arm with his lightsaber. Anakin watched as the Sith screamed in agony beneath him, relishing the sounds of his pain. He drew his foot back from him before delivering a blow to the spot between the Sith’s ribs, once again using the heel of his boot.

He heard the Sith gasp for air at the assault as he reached down and grasped him by the throat. Anakin yanked him by the neck to his feet before he turned and slammed the Sith against the nearest tree. The Sith gagged as Anakin allowed him to fall to the ground. Anakin stepped closer to him again, ready to deliver another blow with his foot.

A sob sounded from nearby halting him. “Master Skywalker, stop!”

Anakin turned towards the voice, noticing the initiate crouching in the bushes. He’d forgotten about the child. He frowned, noticing the tears streaming down her face and the fear in her expression. He closed his eyes and turned to look at the gasping Sith beneath him. He looked over at the child. “Look away.” She did as she was told.

Anakin turned back to the Sith, raising his lightsaber high before he brought the blade down through his chest. He died instantly beneath him.

Anakin stared at the dead body before him, tears filling his eyes. Grief tore at his heart as he thought of Luke. How frightened the boy must have been, alone in these woods. His throat clenched as he struggled to control his emotions.

He looked over towards where the child was crouched, noticing that she was still looking away from him. He turned from the Sith and made his way over to her, gently touching her on the back of the head. He needed her to know that he wouldn’t harm her. Force, how could I have been so stupid as to act like that in front of a child?

“Come, young one.” Anakin spoke quietly, his tone gentle, as he struggled to fight back the urge to return to the Sith body; destroy it completely and rip it limp from limb. He swallowed, desperately trying to calm himself in front of the child. She looked up at him and nodded obediently as she stood. Anakin placed his hand on her shoulder as they made their way back to the Temple.

What would he tell Leia? She would be devastated. Anakin felt the dampness of tears on his cheeks and quickly swiped at them, not wanting the child to notice them. He’d already done enough for her to question his Jedi status. He drew in a deep breath before he spoke again. “I am sorry you had to witness that, young one.”

The initiate was silent for a moment. “That’s alright, Sir.”

Anakin struggled for a moment before adding. “I am aware that you have been taught against such actions.”

She hesitated. “Yes, Sir.”

Anakin was silent for a moment. “He was my son,” he offered, in defence.

The girl nodded slowly. “But a Jedi knows not love, nor hatred. Nor does he seek revenge or pleasure from another’s suffering.”

Anakin closed his eyes. “Yes, a Jedi should not.”

The child tentatively looked up at him. “I…I am sorry about Luke.”

Anakin bit his lip as they continued on their journey. “Thank you, young one.” He looked down at her. “What is your name?”

“Anicca Khanos,” she said, quietly.

Anakin nodded before asking, “How old are you?”

“Eleven,” she responded.

Anakin nodded, slowly, but said nothing more. The two continued their journey towards the Temple.

Anicca spoke up tentatively. “I won’t tell anyone.”

Anakin looked down at her and she returned his look, her eyes wary and almost fearful. “I won’t tell anyone how you killed him.”

Anakin hesitated for a moment before he smiled gently at her. He wasn’t sure how to respond to her, instead he placed his hand on her shoulder. “Maybe someday you will understand.”

Anicca frowned, keeping her expression hidden from him. After witnessing the Jedi Master’s former actions, she certainly hoped not.

Chapter Thirteen

………………………

“The key to failure is trying to please everybody” – Bill Cosby.

………………………

Anakin vomited onto the cold stone steps that led down into the Temple gardens as tears once again shimmered in his eyes. He sunk down onto the marble wall next to him, letting his face fall into his hands as he gave in to his emotions. He couldn’t face Leia just yet. He couldn’t tell her that Luke was dead. That he couldn’t save him. ‘I was too late’ he thought to himself bitterly. His body shook as he sobbed quietly into his hands.

If only Luke had been a Jedi. He could have protected himself. Maybe. Luke could have called out to him through the Force. Anakin shook his head, another sob escaping him. He could never make the rights choices. He would never be able to protect the people he loved.

Anakin looked up at the sound of gentle footsteps coming towards him. His eyes met with Obi-Wan’s.

“Anakin,” he said quietly. There was compassion in his tone. Anakin hated it. He didn’t deserve it. He deserved nothing.

Anakin slowly stood. “Where…” His voice quivered. Anakin swallowed hard then, tried again. “Where is Leia?”

“She’s with Master Windu,” Obi-Wan responded, reaching out to place his hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “Luke?”

Anakin’s eyes squeezed shut, his face crumbling as he struggled to contain his emotions. Obi-Wan hesitated, unsure how to react. Anakin reached up, covering his face with his hand for a moment as he stepped closer to him. He lowered his hand from his face, keeping his eyes on Obi-Wan’s chest, before he hesitantly leaned his head against Obi-Wan’s shoulder.

Obi-Wan sighed, one arm embracing Anakin’s tightly as he reached up a hand to gently press against the back of Anakin’s head. Obi-Wan heard Anakin sob gently against him as Obi-Wan tightened his hold on him, rocking Anakin the way he did when he was a child.

“He’s gone,” Anakin sobbed. “I couldn’t save him. He’s…he’s…”

“Shh,” Obi-Wan whispered gently.

“I promised her,” Anakin choked. “I promised I’d bring him back.”

“It was a promise you could not keep,” Obi-Wan said quietly. “It was not your fault, Anakin.”

Anakin sobbed again, burying his face into the crook between Obi-Wan’s neck and shoulder. Obi-Wan reached up, gently stroking the back of his head. He felt Anakin slowly begin to tense in his arms. Obi-Wan swallowed, immediately sensing the change in Anakin’s demeanour. Anakin drew back from him and Obi-Wan almost recoiled at what he saw in his expression; pure, unhidden hatred and anger. He gripped Anakin’s shoulders, speaking gently. “Anakin.”

“My destiny is to destroy the Sith,” Anakin said, his tone solid and cold-hearted. “Well the prophecy’s right. I will destroy them!” Obi-Wan felt his throat tighten at the vehemence of Anakin words. “I will kill them all! I will kill them or I will die trying!” he screamed at him. “I hate them!”

Obi-Wan bit his lip and tentatively raised his hand to caress his cheek. Anakin’s eyes glimmered with tears once again. “I was his father, Obi-Wan. I was supposed to protect him; keep him safe.” He reached up, covering his face with his hand. “I’ve failed him,” he choked out.

Obi-Wan drew Anakin closer to him. “Anakin.” Anakin willingly went into his arms again, seeking comfort from the only person who could give it to him.

“I’m so sorry,” Anakin said, quietly.

Obi-Wan frowned, continuing to hold him. “Sorry for what?”

There was silence for a moment, before Anakin responded, his voice a whisper, “For everything.” He hesitated. “For blaming you for everything. For making you think I…”

“Shh,” Obi-Wan silenced him. “You were angry.”

Anakin swallowed hard, then said quietly. “I don’t hate you. I…I…” he stopped, unable to get the words out. Why couldn’t he say it? Why couldn’t he just tell him?

Obi-Wan spoke quietly, interrupting his thoughts. “I know, Anakin.”

Anakin closed his eyes, sinking further into the comforting embrace.

………………………….

Anakin had stood before the members of the Council, his expression cold. He had felt Obi-Wan’s eyes on him, but never returned his look. Never again. He reached down to his belt, pulling his lightsaber from it. The Jedi Masters had become alert at that, but Anakin had let the weapon fall from his hand onto the hard floor of the Council Chambers.

Master Windu had frowned at this. “Anakin?”

Anakin looked towards him, though he was addressing the entire council. “I give up my Jedi weapon. And with it, I give up on this way of life.”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan’s voice had sounded quietly.

But Anakin didn’t look towards him. “I am no longer a Jedi Knight. I take my leave from the Jedi Order.”

There was silence among the chambers.

“Done, it is. A Jedi Knight, Skywalker is no longer,” Master Yoda had said, making Anakin’s actions final.

Anakin turned from them, careful not to look at Obi-Wan as he did so. Never again would he look upon that face. Never again would he be within his presence. From now on, only his children mattered. He stopped at the door, slowly turning around to look at them. He spoke quietly, “I hate you all.”

He had felt the ripple of shock that stirred among each of the Masters. But stronger than that, he had felt Obi-Wan’s pain. And he had relished it.

…………………………….

Leia slowly stepped out onto the stone steps, noticing her father being tightly embraced by Master Kenobi. She frowned as she stepped closer to them, but then stopped in astonishment when she heard her father’s sobs. She felt her stomach clench; what could have happened to reduce her father to this? She scanned the gardens with her eyes. Where was Luke? She felt her throat tighten.

She stepped closer to the two men, her voice breaking as she spoke. “Father?”

Anakin pulled back from Obi-Wan instantly, his red eyes meeting with his daughter’s shimmering ones. Leia stepped closer to him. “Where is Luke?”

Anakin felt his eyes fill up once again. “I…I couldn’t…” he looked down, pressing his hand to his forehead, before he looked back up at her. “I was too late.”

Leia took an unsteady step closer, shaking her head, her voice trembling. “No…no.”

“I’m so sorry, Leia,” Anakin whispered. “I couldn’t save him.”

Leia bit her lip, her tears slipping down her cheek. “No…he’s not dead.”

“I’m sorry,” Anakin choked out.

“You…you promised,” she murmured.

“I know.”

Leia stared at him for a moment, shaking her head, “No…no, no.” She turned and ran from him.

“Leia!” Anakin started after her, then stopped when he realised she was heading back to their quarters. She would be safe there. Anakin swallowed then turned his head to look at Obi-Wan. Anakin held Obi-Wan’s gaze for a moment, before he turned and walked away.

………………………..

“Love is for fools, wise enough to take a chance” – Anonymous.

………………………..

Three days had passed since Anakin had killed the Sith. Since the Sith had killed Luke. Since Obi-Wan’s feelings became known. Since Leia had stopped talking.

Anakin was breaking. He was desperate to reach some sort of tranquillity. He’d tried frequently to meditate throughout the past few days, failing each time as his thoughts continued to come back to that day. He couldn’t control the pain he felt.

He squeezed his eyes shut tighter, desperate to find peace, but to no avail. He sighed, opening his eyes. He refused to think about Luke this time. It was all he had thought of since that day. His thoughts turned to Leia. His throat tightened as he once again reminded himself that she wouldn’t speak to him; she hadn’t spoken to him since he’d told her. He wondered how she was coping. She’d go to the gardens every morning and not return until night; his questions received no answers. He closed his eyes; he would not lose his only child.

Anakin looked down at his hands, as he thought of the decision he’d made. She would become a Jedi. He had decided it when he thought of Luke. If Luke had been trained he would have been able to call out to him. He would ensure that Leia could do that. He looked out the window at the greenery; he just had to tell her.

He swallowed, his thoughts unwilling returning to Luke. If only Luke had known those things he might still be alive now. Anakin could have saved him, if he’d only allowed him to be trained. If he’d allowed him to be trained, he would not have run off with the other younglings in the first place!

Anakin swallowed hard as he remembered his last encounter with his son. No. How could that have been the last time they’d seen one another? Why? Why did it have to be like that? He bit his lips, tears returning to his eyes. He felt the bile in his stomach rise. Luke must’ve known how much Anakin loved him. He just had to. Anakin’s tears slipped down his cheeks. But he didn’t, and Anakin knew it. He never showed him the love he felt.

An overwhelming guilt washed over him. Luke would never know. He died thinking Anakin didn’t care for him. He died thinking he was second best; loved less that his sister. No, no, no. Anakin stood from his seated position and walked across the room, looking out the window at the forest. Never again, Anakin vowed to himself, never again would he make that mistake.

The door to the quarters slid open with a hiss. Anakin turned as Leia walked into the room, not looking at him as she made her way to her bedchambers.

“Leia,” Anakin spoke quietly. She continued, ignoring him. “Leia, please. This is important.” She continued, arriving at the door.

“Please, Leia,” Anakin spoke urgently. “Please.”

Something in his tone caused her to stop. She turned towards him, slowly and uncertainly, keeping her eyes to the ground.

Anakin stepped closer to her. “Come, sit with me.” He sat down on the couch. Leia hesitated for a moment before she slowly walked towards him, sitting as far from him as possible. Anakin was silent for a moment before he spoke quietly. “If you’d still like to…” He hesitated, causing her to look up at him. He gave her a small smile. “If you still wish it, you may be trained as a Jedi.”

Leia froze for a moment. Her eyes widened slightly. “Really?”

Anakin nodded. “Yes.”

She frowned. “Why? Why do you want me to be a Jedi?”

Anakin was silent for a moment before he responded. “So you can protect yourself.” Leia looked at him for a moment before she lowered her eyes, thinking of Luke. “I can’t lose you too, Leia,” Anakin said softly.

Leia raised her eyes to his, only looking at him intently for a few moments. Slowly, she stood and walked closer to him until she was before him. A tear slipped down her cheek as she leaned forward, her head resting against his shoulder. Anakin’s arms instantly came around her, holding her tight as a sob escaped her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Anakin shook his head. “No, I’m sorry, Leia.”

She gripped him tight. “I love you, Father.”

Anakin closed his eyes, which filled with tears. “I love you.”

……………………….

Anakin knocked again on the door, receiving no response. He sighed and turned away. Clearly, Obi-Wan had become a very deep sleeper over the past eight years. He looked at the door to his quarters for a moment before he turned and made his way down the corridor towards the gardens. Perhaps, with his reconciliation with Leia, meditation would come easier to him. He stepped out into the cold night and made his way down the stone stairs, heading towards the fountains. The sounds of the water would help to calm him.

He turned the corner, only to stop suddenly when he was immediately aware of Obi-Wan meditating nearby. He hesitated for a moment, unsure whether he should proceed or return to his chambers. He’d suddenly felt awkward around him after the rejection he’d received. He slowly began to turn away, when a gentle voice sounded in his mind. “Don’t leave”. Anakin turned back to him as Obi-Wan’s eyes opened.

Obi-Wan offered him a small smile as he stepped towards him. “How are you, Anakin?”

Anakin only shrugged as his former Master came to stand in front of him. Obi-Wan frowned. “You’re confused about something.”

Anakin raised his eyes to him. “I…I was looking for you.”

Obi-Wan smirked. “You did not seem so eager to speak with me a moment ago.”

Anakin smiled at him and looked down. “I’m not sure what to say.”

The response received a frown from Obi-Wan. “You can tell me anything, Anakin.”

There was a silence for a few short moments. “I don’t know if you’ll believe me.”

Obi-Wan seemed to contemplate his statement, before he responded. “Trust me.”

Anakin raised his head to look at him, his expression contemplative. Obi-Wan shifted when he began to feel uncomfortable under his friend’s stare and made to speak, but was silenced when Anakin stepped closer to him. It was his turn to frown. Anakin spoke quietly. “I’m no good with words.” Before Obi-Wan could respond, Anakin tentatively lowered his head towards him, hesitantly claiming Obi-Wan’s lips with his.

Obi-Wan leaned into the kiss this time, reaching up to grasp Anakin by the upper arms. However, it lasted only a few seconds and he slowly drew back from Anakin.

Anakin studied him for a moment before he said quietly. “I’m not using you, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan sighed, lowered his eyes.

“I care about you,” Anakin continued. “I…I…” He stopped when Obi-Wan looked up at him. Obi-Wan’s expression remained that same impassive one he was accustomed to, but his eyes reflected hope. Anakin swallowed, uncertain if what he was going to say would be enough. “I…I could love you,” he said, quietly. Then added, this time more assertively, as if he was finally realising it himself, “I do. At least…at least I think I do.” Anakin bit his lip. “I want to love you.”

Obi-Wan closed his eyes. Anakin leaned down, his lips making for Obi-Wan’s once again, when he felt the grip on his arms tighten and hold him back. Anakin frowned as Obi-Wan’s eyes opened; they no longer reflected hope, now only uncertainty. “We can’t.”

Anakin leaned closer to him so Obi-Wan could look no where but at him. “Why not?”

Obi-Wan swallowed. “Because we’re Jedi.”

Anakin shook his head slowly. “That’s not a reason, Obi-Wan. I feel for you. And I know you feel the same, I’ve felt it. I saw it.”

“I know you did,” Obi-Wan sighed, looking away. “I shouldn’t have let you see it.”

Anakin frowned. “I want to be with you.”

Obi-Wan slowly raised his eyes to his.

“Don’t you want that too, Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan bit his lip.

“It makes no difference now,” Anakin continued. “Even if we don’t act on these feelings, they’re not going to go away.”

Obi-Wan sighed, looking down.

“My feelings won’t change,” Anakin said quietly. “I won’t make the same mistake with you, as I did with Luke.”

Obi-Wan closed his eyes. “So this is about Luke.”

Anakin shook his head. “No! No, this is about us.”

Obi-Wan sighed, dropping his hands from Anakin’s arms, only for his own arms to be grasped tightly. “Listen to me, Obi-Wan. I want you, that won’t change. Our feelings aren’t going to just disappear because we’re Jedi. It’s too late for us to go back now.” Anakin waited until Obi-Wan’s eyes raised to his. “I have already formed this attachment.”

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, shaking his head. “I have taught you nothing.”

Anakin smiled before he leaned forward, once again pressing his lips to Obi-Wan’s. Anakin could tell his former Master’s resolve was weakening as his lips responded to his. Anakin drew him closer, cautiously slipping his tongue past the barrier.

Obi-Wan slowly drew away from him, allowing Anakin to rest his forehead on his. “Don’t you want this?” Anakin said.

Obi-Wan swallowed and closed his eyes, silent for a few moments. He opened his eyes, raising them to Anakin’s. “Yes,” he responded, quietly.

Anakin smiled widely, leaning back down to him. Obi-Wan hesitantly accepted him, as he felt Anakin’s hand come up to rest at the back of his neck. Obi-Wan sighed against his mouth, allowing himself to feel the emotion he had hidden for so long.

Anakin slowly drew back from him and smiled, softly. Obi-Wan smiled in return as Anakin pressed their foreheads together. The two men were finally at peace.

……………………………

It was so cold. So dark. Everything was unfamiliar to him as he was escorted down the dark corridor. He hated this place, he decided, though he’d only been there a few moments. They came to a halt in front of a large, metal door. The man beside him spoke into a comlink, then waited for a few moments before the door slid open with a hiss. Cautiously, he made his way into the dark chambers.

A man turned to look at them. He was old, but not too old. Perhaps Master Windu’s age.

The man grinned at him. “Come closer.”

He did but he was scared. He didn’t know what this man might do to him.

The man addressed him again as he stopped in front of him. “What is your name, my new apprentice?”

He swallowed hard, reigning in his fear as his father had always told him to do. “Luke Skywalker, Sir.”

The man’s grin widened further. “Skywalker,” he sneered. A low laugh escaped him.Luke’s eyes narrowed at the sinister gleam in the other man’s eyes.

“Yes,”the man purred, in satisfaction,“the son of the Skywalker would make a fine Sith, indeed.”

……………

The End